Dear Advisor,

Why does my team seem so unmotivated recently?

I’m seeing team members disengage. Projects drag. Initiative seems low. I find myself thinking, Do they even care? I’ve tried pep talks, check-ins, and tightening timelines. It’s frustrating—and I’m running out of energy. What’s actually going on here?

— Tired of Carrying the Load

Dear Tired,
That’s a hard place to be. When motivation dips and nothing seems to spark action, it can feel like you’re dragging the whole team uphill.

Let’s pause here.

It’s easy to assume a lack of motivation means a lack of will. That someone’s just not trying hard enough. Yet in most cases, something else is going on beneath the surface.

When a leader shared this concern in a recent session, we asked: What if “unmotivated” isn’t the right diagnosis? What if it’s a signal—an invitation to get curious?

The Story We Tell Ourselves

A deadline gets missed. A once-reliable employee seems withdrawn. We start filling in the blanks. “They don’t care.” “They’re checked out.” “They’re just not motivated.”

Here’s the challenge: those stories are often incomplete. And if we lead from assumption, we risk reacting instead of responding.

In one organization, a manager was ready to place a team member on a performance plan. The narrative? “She just doesn’t follow through.” Yet when the manager paused to listen—really listen—they uncovered something very different. The team member was overwhelmed, unclear on expectations, and hesitant to ask for help. Once that came to light, the team member could create a realistic plan, ask for what she needed, and begin to rebuild trust and follow-through. Not because someone fixed it for her—but because someone made space for her to re-engage on her own terms.

A Shift in Mindset: From Judgment to Curiosity

Here’s what we’re learning from teams and leaders doing this well:

Labels block understanding. Saying someone is “unmotivated” or “checked out” can shut down inquiry before it begins.
Neutral framing creates space. Instead of labeling something as bad, name it as something to explore together. “I’m noticing less follow-through lately. What’s been going on?”
Support ≠ solving. The most helpful leaders don’t swoop in to rescue. They ask clean, forward-moving questions. They separate their role (coach, supporter, accountability partner) from the individual’s role (owner of their choices and path forward).

So What Is Going On?

When someone’s engagement seems low, here are some common (and often invisible) drivers:

Overwhelm or confusion – unclear expectations, shifting priorities, or internal pressure
Disconnection from purpose or people – feeling isolated or unsure how their work contributes
Fear of failure or feedback – worry that mistakes will be punished, not supported
Life outside of work – caregiving, grief, burnout, or simply being human

None of these mean someone can’t be accountable. They just call for a different kind of conversation.

How to Respond as a Leader

If you’re seeing signs of disengagement, try this sequence:

1. Start with curiosity instead of frustration.
Notice what you’re telling yourself—and pause. Try asking of yourself:

“What do I know for sure?”
“What might I be missing?”
“What’s the most generous assumption I could make right now?”

2. Start a neutral, honest conversation.

“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed quieter the last few weeks.”
“I’m wondering how you’re doing, and how I can support your success.”
“Is this still feeling like the right role, pace, or focus for you right now?”

3. Support without rescuing.
Ask forward-focused questions like:

“What do you want to be different?”
“What support would make that easier?”
“What first step feels doable to you?”

4. Follow through together.
Co-create next steps and agree on how you’ll check in. Keep your tone encouraging and collaborative. Accountability doesn’t require pressure—it needs presence.

It’s Not Just on You: Motivation is a Team Sport

Leaders often feel like they have to catch every drop in energy, performance, or morale. That’s exhausting—and not realistic.

The truth is, the team can be your greatest ally.
Motivation, support, and accountability don’t have to come top-down. In high-trust teams, they move side-to-side too.

Here’s how you can help make that happen:

Make the real picture visible.
Open-book management, shared scoreboards, and transparent progress tracking help everyone understand what’s really going on—without relying on hallway rumors or assumptions.
Name what you notice, together.
Encourage a culture where teammates can say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you seem off—want to talk?” That kind of peer check-in can feel more natural, and often lands better than a formal 1:1 with a manager.
Normalize support, not blame.
When someone is struggling the question shouldn’t be, Why isn’t that person pulling their weight? but What might they need right now, and how can we help?
Empower the system.
As a leader, your role is to model this mindset and create the conditions where teammates look out for one another. You’re not rescuing one person—you’re empowering the whole system to respond with care and accountability.

Final Thought: You’re not the fixer. You’re the guide.

When someone’s energy is low and their performance seems to be suffering, it’s tempting to step in, correct course, or carry the weight yourself. Yet often, the most powerful move is to slow down, ask better questions, and trust the other person to do the work of finding their way forward—with your support, not your solution.

So here’s your invitation:

This week, choose one “unmotivated” situation and reframe it. Drop the label. Lead with curiosity. Invite the person to partner with you in creating a path forward.

You don’t need to have all the answers. Your presence matters more. Stay in the conversation - and let it be a path, not a performance.. And if a thought-partner would be helpful to explore what’s going right and what could be better, let’s have a conversation.