Dear Leadership Sage,
My COO came to me this week with a problem. She said, "My team and I in Operations are bending over backwards to try and work with our CFO and he just isn’t keeping his commitments. I can’t do his job and mine, and I’m worried we are going to fail as a company.”
I was pretty shocked and didn't know what to tell her. How do I fix this?
- Didn’t See It Coming
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Dear Didn’t See,
Unfortunately I don't have a clean fix for you. I do have a story where I got this wrong - and a few questions I wish I had asked myself sooner.
A few years ago someone on my team shared that he was not going to do part of his job - that is, documenting sales calls. I talked with him about how I got past writer’s block. I offered to have someone sit with him to help. Others came to me with some version of your team member's question. I told myself I was being patient and giving him room to figure out how to get past a temporary block.
Looking back, I was avoiding a confrontation I didn't want to have. I kept thinking he would figure it out, and the situation dragged on longer than I like to admit. When things came to a head, we got to where both of us were talking and neither of us were listening. It wasn’t pretty.
What I regret is how long I waited. I kept trying to figure out how to help him do things differently. I never asked myself what I was doing or not doing that kept us stuck.
So instead of a plan, here are the questions I'd ask myself in your seat:
Does she need an answer or a thinking partner?
I wonder what would happen if you gently turned your COO’s question back to her. What does she think her role is, given that she can't control her colleague? She might say she needs to voice her challenge directly and offer her colleague support. She might tell you this isn't her job and something has to change. Either answer is likely useful for you both to hear.
Is this about the person or the setup?
Sometimes a colleague falls short because of effort. Other times they aren't able to do what you think they can do, and fuzzy handoffs or expectations often make that worse. Getting clearer there is a good place to start. (Note: If as CEO you see a structural problem behind the challenge, that's where you may need to step in as the leader and clear the path for everyone.)
What have I been tolerating, and why?
There may be a good reason, or it may be a hard conversation you've been putting off. Some leaders are surprised to find that what frustrates them on the team mirrors something that quietly bugs them about themselves.
In my situation above, I don’t like to be told what to do and so was avoiding doing that to my team member.
How might I be personally contributing to this problem?
This is the one that catches me most.
When something isn't working, my first thought is “Hey, I'm doing my best and so is everyone else.”
That can be true and things can still be stuck. When we’re stuck here, out of desperation I decide to change something about how I'm leading - and it's always humbling how often that's what gets things moving again.
As leaders, we build companies on the idea that people do better work together than apart. It shouldn't surprise us when our success gets tangled up with someone else's. That messy reality is part of the deal, and most of the time the next move starts with us.
If you try any of this, I'd love to hear how it goes. Reach out and let's find a time to talk.
